Perception versus reality

I have always looked at other people and thought how 'perfect' they were, their lives, their relationships, their careers and have wondered that there here must be people who'd be thinking the same about me. It is easy to project your own perceptions on people, places and build your own quasi visual vocabulary – adjectives pour in, even if you don’t want them to.
She is a bit self-indulgent.
He is a little judgmental, too clinical, and a bit too proper…
And then you try and minimize the effect, by interludes. Is it really possible not to be judgmental?

meltdowns in a big city

How strange is it to work in the lab after so many days and witness all these meltdowns. I usually don’t have issues with people crying. I think it is liberating for so many people and there shouldn’t be any shame in it. Yet, it is depressing to see people breaking down in front of you. First day in the lab and already the end of semester stress is catching up like an epidemic around us. I am not sure how much of it is school stress though, I overheard one conversation about a relationship gone sour and then a homeless man intruding at this most inopportune moment ‘boys, boys boys! … its always the boys’ . I thought it was a bit presumptuous of him.

Which makes me think, when was the last time I cried? I usually cry over my academic improbabilities. I broke down when I started school, couple of years ago, sitting at union square park waiting for a friend I tried looking brave when I met her but when my tears started dissolving into Wholefood’s fruit salad, she finally took notice of my disappearing face.

I don’t know why I was embarrassed. I really shouldn’t have been.